I Am A Tree

I am a tree.
I zero-in on the screen in front of me.
Trying to balance on unsteady feet,
I’m trying to stand on a tight rope of debits and credits
deadlines and due dates.
And they told me this would help.
Focus, breathe, center, balance.
But I can’t balance,
Because I am not a tree.
Because even while my body wobbles
Like some house of cards built on shifting sand
I know that nature is not as peaceful
As the lady on my TV says it is.
Because I know that even if my toes
Could turn in to roots and find purchase in the soil,
The tectonic plates of this turbulent life
We adults call “the real world”
Will eventually shift and physics will inevitably pull me over.
I am not a tree.
Because the truth is I’m not all that in touch with nature.
Because my heart is made of circuit boards
And my skin is a touch-screen,
Showing you the story of my life in high-definition.
I am not a tree.
Because I don’t know what it is to be impassive
Against turbulent rains and winds.
All I know is how to get thrown from branch to puddle.
Soaked through and ripped to shreds
Till all that’s left is the skeleton of what I used to be.
I am not a tree.
Because the thing I love most about the world
Is the part that only exists in digital.
Pixelated memories and dreams in text.
Short-hand love letters and irrevocable, irreplaceable
Sentiments of love, hate, joy, sadness, loss and life.
I can’t stop thinking because my world doesn’t stop expanding.
Images and sounds on the panoramic display of life.
I can’t reach for the sky the way the woman demands
Because her calm, soothing tone is like some
Fake, manufactured past-time that makes me think
She can’t be real or she must be in delusion
Because there is no serenity anymore.
I am not a tree.
And I want to scream it at her as she balances so smoothly she must be made of air.
A cellophane sculpture full of empty promises
And manufactured dreams of a “simple life”.
I am not a tree.
My veins are wires and my organs are data.
My thoughts are limited only by the bandwidth of sleep.
I am digital.
I am ever-changing.
I am shapeless.
I am timeless.
I am not a tree.

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